As a fellow reader and slightly book-obsessed person, I so appreciate this list. I too tend to buy books about how to cope with whatever I'm dealing with in the moment...and you're right - I've totally ignored midlife books. I even received a wonderful ARC of a midlife book but passed it on - deciding in the moment that it wasn't for me...at 49. Now I'm 51 and ready to confront this craziness of sandwich generation/midlife/menopause/etc....well, maybe not ready to confront...more like ready to quit sticking my head in the sand. Looking for every single one of these recommended reads when I go to work at the bookstore tomorrow. Thank YOU Jessica!!!
Thank you for this. I loved Midlife Bites and will be checking out the others for sure. I found some interesting helpful information recently in an unlikely place - the intro to The Hot Flash Cookbook. I learned the term "climacteric" and some of the weird history around menopause "diagnosis"
Electricity plus Daniel Bowman, Jr.'s _On the Spectrum_ were two of the three things that opened my eyes to my own autism. I initially read them to understand certain family members better, but . . .
I can see that. It isn't addressing midlife, per se, but May's crisis and recognition of her neurodiversity came at middle age for her, as for me. So many autistic women discover their neurodivergence in their forties and after because we are more tired now and can't mask any longer (and also care less what others think). So I think it's an important book for middle-aged women who might identify.
My middle life books lean heavily on perimenopause, since it's plays a big part in this part of life for me. Top of my list in that subcategory: The Menopause Manifesto, What Fresh Hell Is This.
Unlock Your Menopause Type and Menopocalypse and Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond are also on my shelf. Other midlife -centric books: The Change (fiction), I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder.
What a fantastic list! Thank you! How could I have forgotten about I'm Wearing Tunics Now? I loved that book! I've also read The Menopause Manifesto and found it informative and reassuring.
Happy to come across this - I’d like to share Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause and How to Feel like Yourself Again by Jancee Dunn. Well written, interesting and some appalling facts throughout history of women’s care in midlife. As someone who had frozen shoulder simultaneously in both arms and later discovered it’s affects mostly midlife women, I almost fell over when the first diagnosis of this was labeled as hysterical paralysis of the arms!!! I carried that around for days and days. The book is a worthy and valuable read in my opinion with much research and interesting anecdotes as well as the personal experience of the author and her midlife health travels.
I heard an interview with Jancee Dunn recently about that book! I think on NPR? It sounds great. Maybe I need to compile another list about best books on menopause?
Of course! And OMG. How I loved this essay at the time. Even before I was even technically all that "midlife" myself. Sandra Tsing Loh is such a fierce and funny writer.
I particularly loved laughing my way through with Jen Mann and Wendi Aarons! Looking forward to reading Chip Conley’s new book “Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Life Get Better With Age.”
Thanks for sharing this list. I'm very interested in this topic and will check out Sara's book since I'm over 50. I write about second half of life issues--in fact all of what I write is about my innerwork after my midlife crisis. Are you familiar with Jungian psychology? A Jungian psychoanalyst James Holis has written some books about the second half of life if you are curious about thus branch of psychology (which I'm most drawn to). I also recently discovered Connie Zweiger's books on shadow work (also Jungian) that helps this kind of innerwork.
I'm like you and amass books on subjects I become obsessed about. A few years ago I had to purge 90% of them when I moved countries. Thank goodness otherwise I wouldn't have any room to welcome new books in a new stage of life. BTW, I'm a 4 with 5 wing on the enneagram so I can understand your investigator tendency 😉
I love that you understand my Investigator tendencies! From what you wrote, I think you would like Sara's book the best. I'm not all that familiar with Jungian psychology, but I'd love to learn more. (I'm a sociologist by nature, but still also want to explore issues from a psychological perspective as well.)
Adding these to my list immediately! The messy middle part of life is exactly what I write about on my own substack and I can totally resonate to that feeling of being drawn to stories that speak to the experience or season of life I’m currently in. Thank you for sharing this 🙏
In addition to Menopause Manifesto, which I see others have recommended, I would add Flash Count Diary by Darcy Steinke. It’s a reported memoir that includes her own experiences with menopause interwoven with reported material about orcas (the only other mammal verified to experience menopause.) And I’d also add Blow Your House Down by Gina Frangello just because it’s amazing and blew the top of my head off.
These a great recommendations, thank you! I've been reading every book written by Anne Lamott lately - not specifically about midlife, but about transitions and self-doubt threading throughout one's entire life - and they've been helping me survive and thrive life in my 50s as a woman and a writer. I've also just started reading a collection of essays by Jessi Klein called I'll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood, and I feel less crazy and less alone after reading her humorous and honest writing on all the things we all think and do but are afraid to talk about.
Thank you for including The Shift. I really appreciate it.
As a fellow reader and slightly book-obsessed person, I so appreciate this list. I too tend to buy books about how to cope with whatever I'm dealing with in the moment...and you're right - I've totally ignored midlife books. I even received a wonderful ARC of a midlife book but passed it on - deciding in the moment that it wasn't for me...at 49. Now I'm 51 and ready to confront this craziness of sandwich generation/midlife/menopause/etc....well, maybe not ready to confront...more like ready to quit sticking my head in the sand. Looking for every single one of these recommended reads when I go to work at the bookstore tomorrow. Thank YOU Jessica!!!
Thank you! I too have passed on lots of midlife-related ARCS... I'm with you. I'm ready to start learning and understanding through reading much more.
Thank you for this. I loved Midlife Bites and will be checking out the others for sure. I found some interesting helpful information recently in an unlikely place - the intro to The Hot Flash Cookbook. I learned the term "climacteric" and some of the weird history around menopause "diagnosis"
Interesting! What a great title. I will check that one out (if only to learn what "climacteric" means!)
My therapist keeps recommending "Why we can't sleep." (That gets a laugh/cry emoji right there.)
One of the most impactful midlife books for me so far has been Katherine May's The Electricity of Every Living Thing.
I just reserved two of her books from the library last week! I adore her Substack, and her books sound so unique. Thank you! I'll read this one first.
Electricity plus Daniel Bowman, Jr.'s _On the Spectrum_ were two of the three things that opened my eyes to my own autism. I initially read them to understand certain family members better, but . . .
Interesting. I didn't think of The Electricity of Every Living Thing as a midlife book. Hmm.
I can see that. It isn't addressing midlife, per se, but May's crisis and recognition of her neurodiversity came at middle age for her, as for me. So many autistic women discover their neurodivergence in their forties and after because we are more tired now and can't mask any longer (and also care less what others think). So I think it's an important book for middle-aged women who might identify.
Thanks for that clarification. I absolutely see what you mean.
How lovely of you to include NAVIGATING THE MESSY MIDDLE. Thank you so much!
I am honored to keep recommending it!
My middle life books lean heavily on perimenopause, since it's plays a big part in this part of life for me. Top of my list in that subcategory: The Menopause Manifesto, What Fresh Hell Is This.
Unlock Your Menopause Type and Menopocalypse and Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond are also on my shelf. Other midlife -centric books: The Change (fiction), I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder.
What a fantastic list! Thank you! How could I have forgotten about I'm Wearing Tunics Now? I loved that book! I've also read The Menopause Manifesto and found it informative and reassuring.
I haven’t heard of any of these books, so I’m really excited to check them out! Thank you so much for the list!
As someone who is reinventing themselves in their 40s (finished my corporate job and our youngest just turned 17) these books will be perfect!
Wonderful! You might especially like Navigating the Messy Middle and The Shift.
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Happy to come across this - I’d like to share Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause and How to Feel like Yourself Again by Jancee Dunn. Well written, interesting and some appalling facts throughout history of women’s care in midlife. As someone who had frozen shoulder simultaneously in both arms and later discovered it’s affects mostly midlife women, I almost fell over when the first diagnosis of this was labeled as hysterical paralysis of the arms!!! I carried that around for days and days. The book is a worthy and valuable read in my opinion with much research and interesting anecdotes as well as the personal experience of the author and her midlife health travels.
I heard an interview with Jancee Dunn recently about that book! I think on NPR? It sounds great. Maybe I need to compile another list about best books on menopause?
Is it okay to drop a favorite midlife essay here?
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/10/the-bitch-is-back/308642/
:)
Of course! And OMG. How I loved this essay at the time. Even before I was even technically all that "midlife" myself. Sandra Tsing Loh is such a fierce and funny writer.
Same--I discovered the essay in my early thirties. Now in my late forties, I love that it can be about me, too.
I see several here that I’ve really enjoyed-
I particularly loved laughing my way through with Jen Mann and Wendi Aarons! Looking forward to reading Chip Conley’s new book “Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Life Get Better With Age.”
Here’s one I’ve liked recently : Finding meaning in the second half of life , how to finally really grow up . James Hollis
Thank you for the recommendation! That title sounds right up our alley!
For some reason I am wanting to put Ladyparts by Deborah Copaken in this conversation
I'd heard this title before but didn't know much about it. So I looked it up and it sounds AMAZING. Thank you for the recommendation!
Thanks for sharing this list. I'm very interested in this topic and will check out Sara's book since I'm over 50. I write about second half of life issues--in fact all of what I write is about my innerwork after my midlife crisis. Are you familiar with Jungian psychology? A Jungian psychoanalyst James Holis has written some books about the second half of life if you are curious about thus branch of psychology (which I'm most drawn to). I also recently discovered Connie Zweiger's books on shadow work (also Jungian) that helps this kind of innerwork.
I'm like you and amass books on subjects I become obsessed about. A few years ago I had to purge 90% of them when I moved countries. Thank goodness otherwise I wouldn't have any room to welcome new books in a new stage of life. BTW, I'm a 4 with 5 wing on the enneagram so I can understand your investigator tendency 😉
I love that you understand my Investigator tendencies! From what you wrote, I think you would like Sara's book the best. I'm not all that familiar with Jungian psychology, but I'd love to learn more. (I'm a sociologist by nature, but still also want to explore issues from a psychological perspective as well.)
Yes, I do. In fact, I suspect my partern is a 5, so.... :-) Thanks again for the recommendation. I'll definitely put the book on my TBR list.
I'm naturally drawn toward psychology, but the 5 wing in my makes me interested in sociology too.
Adding these to my list immediately! The messy middle part of life is exactly what I write about on my own substack and I can totally resonate to that feeling of being drawn to stories that speak to the experience or season of life I’m currently in. Thank you for sharing this 🙏
You're welcome! I hope you like them as much as I did!
In addition to Menopause Manifesto, which I see others have recommended, I would add Flash Count Diary by Darcy Steinke. It’s a reported memoir that includes her own experiences with menopause interwoven with reported material about orcas (the only other mammal verified to experience menopause.) And I’d also add Blow Your House Down by Gina Frangello just because it’s amazing and blew the top of my head off.
These a great recommendations, thank you! I've been reading every book written by Anne Lamott lately - not specifically about midlife, but about transitions and self-doubt threading throughout one's entire life - and they've been helping me survive and thrive life in my 50s as a woman and a writer. I've also just started reading a collection of essays by Jessi Klein called I'll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood, and I feel less crazy and less alone after reading her humorous and honest writing on all the things we all think and do but are afraid to talk about.
I have heard of Jessi Klein's collection, and I will have to remember to check it out. I'm also a big fan of Anne Lamott's writing.