The little things. And the big things. The sunlight streaming through a winter window, highlighting the colors on my dogs' fur as one of them recovers from a big surgery that I'm grateful to have found the finances to pay for. The monthly group call with my siblings on this day of the month each month this year marking the passage of time since our father passed eleven months ago today. The love that I have found and cultivated and created and embraced and been so lucky to come across in the form of a partner, friends, extended chosen family. The stack of library books, the accessibility of streaming television, the Christmas music, the clothes that fit a very changing body, the power of hugs.
This is beautiful! I lost my father 15 years ago and miss him every day. So lovely that you have such a bond with your siblings, as they of course are the ones who remember your father as well and keep him with you. My sympathies to you on the loss if your father. The first year is very hard..
Nov 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock, Steph Sprenger
My kids, and this may seem obvious, but I’m grateful for their love and trust. As a single mom single handedly raising them, it’s... a lot. And I fantasize about days, weeks, away from them BUT until I get that freedom again, I’m grateful for their big tender hearts and their love.
I am so with you, my friend. I was just in therapy and my therapist reminded me what a gift it is to have that love, trust, and sense of safety with the kids. The hard days make it easier to take that bond for granted. Sending you big love and solidarity.
Nov 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock, Steph Sprenger
Based on the nightmare I had before waking up Thanksgiving morning, I’m thankful I no longer work in an industry where being on the receiving end of a profanity-laced tirade because I forgot to assign a photographer to cover a court hearing could be an actual real-world possibility.
Grateful for all of the small things, too, like the gorgeous sunset I just watched, which always makes me feel connected to my parents, both gone now. I'm grateful that my ex-husband and I have reached the stage where we spent the holiday together with our kids, as we always want them to know they still have a family, even though we are no longer together. And I'm of course thankful to my two kids, even through the challenges of being a single mother, for my daughter, who has social anxiety and who started community college and has made new friends, and for my son, who has autism and intellectual disabilities and has truly blossomed this last year and a half, with the help of his wonderful team and all those who have helped him to reach so many milestones, however small. I'm also grateful for the community of writers who sustain me, who are scattered all over the country and the work family I have in our academic program. I'm also grateful to still have a job, as one program I teach in just had massive cuts in the liberal arts. It's not an easy time for so many who have just lost jobs with no warning. It's so important to find things to be grateful for, with so much of the world in such a precarious state. Thanks for this post and this community.
I am so envious of that stage you have reached, and wonder if it will ever be possible for my children to have a holiday with both their parents. You've found such beautiful things to be grateful for amidst challenges and a whole lot of effort and work.
And I have such empathy for you for where you are now. I look back to that time, it is such a blur. I cannot even remember that first Xmas (when we had agreed to separate but were still under the same roof). I'm not sure how I made it thru and know I often spent days on the couch while the kids were at school...It's definitely been a journey and a long road, and I am thinking of you as you go through this.
Thanks, Steph. I wish you strength in getting through it.
When I wrote a list of what I'm celebrating since September, I included multiple business wins and also filing for divorce. This is a choice I made. I know the path through can't be painless even though the split is amicable and I'm looking forward to life on the other side of it.
I am grateful for tenacity to find my (our?) truth and live as authentically as I can being true to me and being kind and compassionate toward myself and others. This morning as I reflect on the memoir I am getting very close to publishing (Yippie!) I an so in touch with how grateful I am for my journey with its struggles and challenges as well as its gifts and joys!
Heart full for the clarity writing gives me (and hopefully others). As well as the many gifts in my life including my family, my health and my surroundings (trees that greet me on my walks and runs with arms outstretches to the sky as if standing there saying to me "you are strong" and "reach for what you want".
I am most grateful - believe it or not, for the difficult experiences of the past few decades that brought me to this place of peace and acceptance. Knowing myself as I do now, with all my flaws and short comings AND my value to the world, have rendered me to a place of peace where I no longer care a single iota what people think of me. There is something very freeing in not feeling trapped or governed by what other people think I should do or think. The heartbreaks were actually the building blocks for where I am now and although at the time I wasn't sure I could manage to survive let alone ever be happy again...I'm happy to say that I was wrong.
1. My husband; 2. Almost six years in remission; 3. The freedom to live part-time in another country.
Those are all wonderful things indeed!
The little things. And the big things. The sunlight streaming through a winter window, highlighting the colors on my dogs' fur as one of them recovers from a big surgery that I'm grateful to have found the finances to pay for. The monthly group call with my siblings on this day of the month each month this year marking the passage of time since our father passed eleven months ago today. The love that I have found and cultivated and created and embraced and been so lucky to come across in the form of a partner, friends, extended chosen family. The stack of library books, the accessibility of streaming television, the Christmas music, the clothes that fit a very changing body, the power of hugs.
So lovely. Thank you for sharing these little slices of your life.
Thanks for inviting them
This is beautiful! I lost my father 15 years ago and miss him every day. So lovely that you have such a bond with your siblings, as they of course are the ones who remember your father as well and keep him with you. My sympathies to you on the loss if your father. The first year is very hard..
Thank you. I appreciate that. It’s one of those things you understand only once you’ve experienced it 💙🦋
The little sensory things are so meaningful and grounding, aren't they? It sounds like you have some beautiful people in your life, as well. ❤️
My kids, and this may seem obvious, but I’m grateful for their love and trust. As a single mom single handedly raising them, it’s... a lot. And I fantasize about days, weeks, away from them BUT until I get that freedom again, I’m grateful for their big tender hearts and their love.
I'm sure it is a lot. Wishing you future bursts of freedom and continued love.
I am so with you, my friend. I was just in therapy and my therapist reminded me what a gift it is to have that love, trust, and sense of safety with the kids. The hard days make it easier to take that bond for granted. Sending you big love and solidarity.
Based on the nightmare I had before waking up Thanksgiving morning, I’m thankful I no longer work in an industry where being on the receiving end of a profanity-laced tirade because I forgot to assign a photographer to cover a court hearing could be an actual real-world possibility.
I'm glad for you as well!
Yes! I bet that's such a relief.
Grateful for all of the small things, too, like the gorgeous sunset I just watched, which always makes me feel connected to my parents, both gone now. I'm grateful that my ex-husband and I have reached the stage where we spent the holiday together with our kids, as we always want them to know they still have a family, even though we are no longer together. And I'm of course thankful to my two kids, even through the challenges of being a single mother, for my daughter, who has social anxiety and who started community college and has made new friends, and for my son, who has autism and intellectual disabilities and has truly blossomed this last year and a half, with the help of his wonderful team and all those who have helped him to reach so many milestones, however small. I'm also grateful for the community of writers who sustain me, who are scattered all over the country and the work family I have in our academic program. I'm also grateful to still have a job, as one program I teach in just had massive cuts in the liberal arts. It's not an easy time for so many who have just lost jobs with no warning. It's so important to find things to be grateful for, with so much of the world in such a precarious state. Thanks for this post and this community.
I am so envious of that stage you have reached, and wonder if it will ever be possible for my children to have a holiday with both their parents. You've found such beautiful things to be grateful for amidst challenges and a whole lot of effort and work.
And I have such empathy for you for where you are now. I look back to that time, it is such a blur. I cannot even remember that first Xmas (when we had agreed to separate but were still under the same roof). I'm not sure how I made it thru and know I often spent days on the couch while the kids were at school...It's definitely been a journey and a long road, and I am thinking of you as you go through this.
Here's some of what I wrote in my journal yesterday, with clarifying comments.
I'm grateful for:
1. Having enough money to buy freedom. Many people can't afford what I pay to live in a nice furnished apartment during the divorce process.
2. My sons, both of them.
3. My parents, who are 86 and 90. I am grateful that they live nearby and I can go to their house for Thanksgiving dinner.
4. My friends who check in on my and are up for adventures.
5. The ability to walk and run. (Finally recovered from getting Covid in August)
6. Blue sky, grey sky, rain, and trees. I appreciate living in such a beautiful area. (Near Seattle)
Those are beautiful, Julia. I am in the middle of a difficult divorce, and finding the gratitude and relief amidst the struggle is so important.
Thanks, Steph. I wish you strength in getting through it.
When I wrote a list of what I'm celebrating since September, I included multiple business wins and also filing for divorce. This is a choice I made. I know the path through can't be painless even though the split is amicable and I'm looking forward to life on the other side of it.
The tenacity to start over. And over, and over, and over. Also, a warm Lab by a woodstove on a frosty Vermont morning. 🐕🔥❄️🌄
YES. Cheers to starting over, and over, and over.
I am grateful for tenacity to find my (our?) truth and live as authentically as I can being true to me and being kind and compassionate toward myself and others. This morning as I reflect on the memoir I am getting very close to publishing (Yippie!) I an so in touch with how grateful I am for my journey with its struggles and challenges as well as its gifts and joys!
Heart full for the clarity writing gives me (and hopefully others). As well as the many gifts in my life including my family, my health and my surroundings (trees that greet me on my walks and runs with arms outstretches to the sky as if standing there saying to me "you are strong" and "reach for what you want".
Oh! That last line was just stunning. Thank you for that, Laurie.
I am most grateful - believe it or not, for the difficult experiences of the past few decades that brought me to this place of peace and acceptance. Knowing myself as I do now, with all my flaws and short comings AND my value to the world, have rendered me to a place of peace where I no longer care a single iota what people think of me. There is something very freeing in not feeling trapped or governed by what other people think I should do or think. The heartbreaks were actually the building blocks for where I am now and although at the time I wasn't sure I could manage to survive let alone ever be happy again...I'm happy to say that I was wrong.