I never knew other moms had the car accident fantasy… I’ve been having it on and off since my first was under three. That’s when I was still married. Early days even. And that’s how alone I felt even then. Thank you for this essay that travels the path of solo to single. I used to be terrified of being alone with my two… partly bc I barely felt able to take care of one adequately. And then somehow that’s all I do now, and realized in a way, what I’ve been doing all along. Our single stories vary, I mean all of us, and yet there is a thread of sameness, of perseverance and grace. We do it out of love and necessity and because no one else is. It is nice to be seen. xo
It is such a beautiful thing to be seen, to be less alone. I loved what you said here: "yet there is a thread of sameness, of perseverance and grace. We do it out of love and necessity and because no one else is." That was so perfectly stated.
Brutal honesty and vulnerability here. And so much truth. It is exactly that fear of incompetence that keeps so many women from leaping without a safety net.
YES, I think it really is that fear of incompetence that keep women stuck. I felt so much like I didn't have a safety net; at some point, I realized I *was* the net.
Until just a couple years ago, I’d donate platelets when I needed to rest and have someone take care of me for a while. Let that take a lap around your brain for a bit. I was literally giving away part of my lifeblood for two hours of feeling cared for.
Steph.. I love this! So beautifully written and I could totally relate. Oh my god.. the car thing.. I’ve been there, but have never told anybody. Thank you for being so honest and helping me feel more understood 💕
Oh, Eva, that comment truly makes my day. Thank you so much for that. I think it's so important we share our stories—feeling less alone and feeling more understood is such a freeing experience. ❤️
Thank you so much for writing so honestly and sharing your personal truths. How poignant that you started it long before you knew the ending, as if you knew this piece needed your attention. The ending shines with quiet strength and self-realization, and I imagine this essay gives voice to so many of our experiences. Truly a beautiful piece. Thank you.
I can relate to this so much. My husband and I divorced and I felt such an unexpected freedom, like a uncaged bird who hadn't realized she had been trapped all along. And then the reality of single parent life set in. Hard. In our case, our time divorced transformed us and we ultimately found our way back to each other as better people. But I remember so well the struggles and the virtues of it all. Thank you for sharing how you've found your strength. This will help someone else who's hanging on the precipice know they can get through it.
I never knew other moms had the car accident fantasy… I’ve been having it on and off since my first was under three. That’s when I was still married. Early days even. And that’s how alone I felt even then. Thank you for this essay that travels the path of solo to single. I used to be terrified of being alone with my two… partly bc I barely felt able to take care of one adequately. And then somehow that’s all I do now, and realized in a way, what I’ve been doing all along. Our single stories vary, I mean all of us, and yet there is a thread of sameness, of perseverance and grace. We do it out of love and necessity and because no one else is. It is nice to be seen. xo
It is such a beautiful thing to be seen, to be less alone. I loved what you said here: "yet there is a thread of sameness, of perseverance and grace. We do it out of love and necessity and because no one else is." That was so perfectly stated.
Brutal honesty and vulnerability here. And so much truth. It is exactly that fear of incompetence that keeps so many women from leaping without a safety net.
YES, I think it really is that fear of incompetence that keep women stuck. I felt so much like I didn't have a safety net; at some point, I realized I *was* the net.
Until just a couple years ago, I’d donate platelets when I needed to rest and have someone take care of me for a while. Let that take a lap around your brain for a bit. I was literally giving away part of my lifeblood for two hours of feeling cared for.
OK, that is profound. That is such an astonishing analogy for what it feels like to be a mother in search of replenishment and rest.
I don't know you, but I want to hug you on behalf of every mom who felt drained enough to fantasize about doing the same sort of thing and survived.
Thank you so, so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. ♥️
Steph.. I love this! So beautifully written and I could totally relate. Oh my god.. the car thing.. I’ve been there, but have never told anybody. Thank you for being so honest and helping me feel more understood 💕
Oh, Eva, that comment truly makes my day. Thank you so much for that. I think it's so important we share our stories—feeling less alone and feeling more understood is such a freeing experience. ❤️
Thank you so much for writing so honestly and sharing your personal truths. How poignant that you started it long before you knew the ending, as if you knew this piece needed your attention. The ending shines with quiet strength and self-realization, and I imagine this essay gives voice to so many of our experiences. Truly a beautiful piece. Thank you.
Wow, Maria, I can't thank you enough for that comment—it was so thoughtful and meant so much to me. Thank you!
I can relate to this so much. My husband and I divorced and I felt such an unexpected freedom, like a uncaged bird who hadn't realized she had been trapped all along. And then the reality of single parent life set in. Hard. In our case, our time divorced transformed us and we ultimately found our way back to each other as better people. But I remember so well the struggles and the virtues of it all. Thank you for sharing how you've found your strength. This will help someone else who's hanging on the precipice know they can get through it.