I’m so sorry for all our kids but especially out girls and the LGBTQ youth. Damnit. My kids were 4 and 8 in 2016 and now they’re 12 and 16 and terrified.
My daughter is a young adult who understands these truths all too well. I am crying for all our children. We led them to believe that all is possible - but not this.
We remain here for each other and for our children- all we can do is continue to project our voices in every way we know how.
My daughters were 6 and 11 in 2016. Now they are 14 and 19. My oldest voted for the first time and she is inconsolable this morning. In 2016 I could shield them. I cannot anymore. They know the world they live in and see it for all the ugliness it has to offer and all the fear it throws at them to keep them from spreading their wings. This is the world they know. I do not know how to protect them and how to help them move forward, but I will find a way. We women always do.
When my just-turned-ten son went to bed last night, I promised I would wake him in the night if/ when there was good news to share. The reality of waking him this morning in an alternate universe was excruciating. Thank you for your essay, Jessica. I’m holding onto every bit of comfort and hope today.
My heart is breaking with yours. I am too numb to put my horror and pain into words, and am grateful to you for doing it for us, so powerfully, so eloquently. Much love to you and your daughter. Love to all of us and to all our daughters -- and sons (based on this result, mine can't imagine bringing a child into this world). This outcome reflects a failure of many things (decency, critical thinking, empathy, etc) but most of all, it's a failure of love, a failure to love. But that thought invites despair. So for this moment, so that I do not collapse, the only emotion I will allow and live into is love. That's what you were doing for your daughter, allowing her to feel safe, while she can. Mine is 26 and I wish I could construct a lie big enough to make her world safe again.
You did what any loving mother of a ten year old daughter needed to do. She will, in time, understand because you will have given her a foundation to build upon which will allow her to be the strong woman her momma is. For now, you will wrap your arms around her and push forward together. Hugs Jessica.
My youngest daughter (20) called me sobbing this morning. "Does our country really hate women this much?" she asked. I didn't know what to tell her. I said some words in response, but I didn't know what to tell her. There was nothing I could say to assuage her pain - or mine. I get there are other factors at play here: the economy and the general dissatisfaction of Americans right now. I tried to focus on that. I encouraged her to stay in the 'now' and not get too caught up in speculating what might be. But my heart is broken. Both of my daughter's hearts are broken. I am figuring out how I can set a good example and help guide them through these next years. Thanks for putting words to some of my feelings this morning, Jessica.
Thank you. I’ve never felt so helpless as a parent than this morning when my 12-year-old sobbed, terrified, and said,”it looked like she was going to win.”
I’ve never felt so bereft as a parent than this morning when I sat the kids down and reviewed what I’ve taught them about being so careful who they trust with their pain and their fear.
We thought we had it. I kept assuring them she would win. I am at a loss and like you I keep imagining that other version of things and I know I need to let that go.
When he won the first time, I was consoling 12 and 14 year old boys who were sobbing. Just sobbing. This time, my older boy, who turns 22 today, was working the polls yesterday, and has spent the last couple of months working for a local Congressional candidate, who lost. The younger son is up at school, and this time I can't hug him. And this time, the stakes feel so much higher. So much so, that there's no scale for them. This is half the country, more than half the country, thinking autocracy is just the ticket to make them feel better about whatever their grievances are. I'm stunned and horrified and sad and exhausted, but I haven't even begun to contemplate what this all really may mean for the future of democracy, for the planet, for everyone. But I'm not done fighting. I said that in a text to my college son this morning, and he said, "I know you'll fight. That's what I love about you." So my two boys are hope, maybe? and your kids, and all our kids? We have to keep fighting. Strength and peace, all.
As a parent and grandparent, I can understand your hesitancy and protective instincts about your daughter. There are many "hot" issues we dance around due to wanting to both protect but also inform our children. However, in two election cycles your daughter will be voting. She needs to know what's at stake.
Putting our heads in the sand today and in the coming four years won't improve anything. Changing a profile photo to a black square is a statement of protest, but then it's time to act. Don't let too much time elapse between mourning a disappointment and acting to change the outcome next time.
I would have loved to see a woman-of-color president. I would have loved to see a white woman president. I'd love to see a gay or trans woman president. Why? Because if women and marginalized groups could win the popular (and electoral) vote, it would be a sign that the majority of people in this nation have evolved enough to look past labels and self-interests. It would be a sign that more people felt oneness rather than separation.
Clearly, the people of this nation has not yet evolved to that point. To me, that is the great crisis that needs to be addressed.
It is my firm belief that the future lies in hands of your daughter, my grandchildren, and the children coming into this world now. And what we teach and demonstrate today will play a huge role in determining a future where every person/being has value, no matter what, simply by virtue of existence.
And that change begins with us, not who is in the White House. When each individual takes responsibility for her own energy and the energy she projects into the collective, things will shift. How can we expect change before we model it?
Yes, I grieve the disappointment. Yes, I have deep concerns for the future of our children. I am doing what I can do. I support change by working on myself...by connecting with a spirit within that speaks truth. We are One. Believing there are two sides will only perpetuate the division.
I'm not trying to change anyone's mind about anything. I'm asking each person to ask themselves what they want to see in the world for themselves and the children—and then be it.
We cannot legislate change. Laws can be passed, and laws can be broken.
People can change. And that's the only way the world will change. Teach the children. Be an example of putting love, tolerance, acceptance, and respect into the collective. Energy is everything. What you put out manifests into form. That includes thoughts, words, and actions.
Let's be the change we want to see in the world. For the children and the evolution of humanity.
Thank you for this. I needed it! I have an 11 year old son who listened to me sobbing this morning. Peace
Thank you. I wish I didn't ever have to write it.
That was me this morning as well. All day long I would erupt into gasping sobs.
I’m so sorry for all our kids but especially out girls and the LGBTQ youth. Damnit. My kids were 4 and 8 in 2016 and now they’re 12 and 16 and terrified.
Mine are quite close. 11 and 16 now - it feels so gut-wrenching. It can't be happening.
Everything I thought I knew about humanity seems false this morning.
I know. I feel this.
My daughter is a young adult who understands these truths all too well. I am crying for all our children. We led them to believe that all is possible - but not this.
We remain here for each other and for our children- all we can do is continue to project our voices in every way we know how.
You're so right. We can't stay silent.
I feel this. My heart breaks for my 22-year-old daughter who is coming of age in a country that does not value her personhood.
I'm so sorry. It's all too much.
Such powerful writing. Describing the way so many of us are feeling right now.
My daughters were 6 and 11 in 2016. Now they are 14 and 19. My oldest voted for the first time and she is inconsolable this morning. In 2016 I could shield them. I cannot anymore. They know the world they live in and see it for all the ugliness it has to offer and all the fear it throws at them to keep them from spreading their wings. This is the world they know. I do not know how to protect them and how to help them move forward, but I will find a way. We women always do.
We will find a way. I know we will. Today and tomorrow will be hard, but we'll find a way.
When my just-turned-ten son went to bed last night, I promised I would wake him in the night if/ when there was good news to share. The reality of waking him this morning in an alternate universe was excruciating. Thank you for your essay, Jessica. I’m holding onto every bit of comfort and hope today.
It's so hard with our daughters. What to tell them, what to withhold. I am very much with you in navigating this.
My heart is breaking with yours. I am too numb to put my horror and pain into words, and am grateful to you for doing it for us, so powerfully, so eloquently. Much love to you and your daughter. Love to all of us and to all our daughters -- and sons (based on this result, mine can't imagine bringing a child into this world). This outcome reflects a failure of many things (decency, critical thinking, empathy, etc) but most of all, it's a failure of love, a failure to love. But that thought invites despair. So for this moment, so that I do not collapse, the only emotion I will allow and live into is love. That's what you were doing for your daughter, allowing her to feel safe, while she can. Mine is 26 and I wish I could construct a lie big enough to make her world safe again.
Thank you, Joan. Sending much love to you. And you're so right about the failure to love. That's so profound and true.
You did what any loving mother of a ten year old daughter needed to do. She will, in time, understand because you will have given her a foundation to build upon which will allow her to be the strong woman her momma is. For now, you will wrap your arms around her and push forward together. Hugs Jessica.
Thank you for this.
My youngest daughter (20) called me sobbing this morning. "Does our country really hate women this much?" she asked. I didn't know what to tell her. I said some words in response, but I didn't know what to tell her. There was nothing I could say to assuage her pain - or mine. I get there are other factors at play here: the economy and the general dissatisfaction of Americans right now. I tried to focus on that. I encouraged her to stay in the 'now' and not get too caught up in speculating what might be. But my heart is broken. Both of my daughter's hearts are broken. I am figuring out how I can set a good example and help guide them through these next years. Thanks for putting words to some of my feelings this morning, Jessica.
Thank you. You gave your daughter great advice. I will take it to heart as well.
Thank you for this powerful essay, Jessica! It helps to have such beautiful words to describe the truth of this moment.
Thank you. I’ve never felt so helpless as a parent than this morning when my 12-year-old sobbed, terrified, and said,”it looked like she was going to win.”
I’ve never felt so bereft as a parent than this morning when I sat the kids down and reviewed what I’ve taught them about being so careful who they trust with their pain and their fear.
I'm so sorry, Jackie. It's unbearable, isn't it?
We thought we had it. I kept assuring them she would win. I am at a loss and like you I keep imagining that other version of things and I know I need to let that go.
When he won the first time, I was consoling 12 and 14 year old boys who were sobbing. Just sobbing. This time, my older boy, who turns 22 today, was working the polls yesterday, and has spent the last couple of months working for a local Congressional candidate, who lost. The younger son is up at school, and this time I can't hug him. And this time, the stakes feel so much higher. So much so, that there's no scale for them. This is half the country, more than half the country, thinking autocracy is just the ticket to make them feel better about whatever their grievances are. I'm stunned and horrified and sad and exhausted, but I haven't even begun to contemplate what this all really may mean for the future of democracy, for the planet, for everyone. But I'm not done fighting. I said that in a text to my college son this morning, and he said, "I know you'll fight. That's what I love about you." So my two boys are hope, maybe? and your kids, and all our kids? We have to keep fighting. Strength and peace, all.
We absolutely do need to keep writing. We have no choice.
You have raised two fine young men. Now it's time to pass the torch. They are the future.
As a parent and grandparent, I can understand your hesitancy and protective instincts about your daughter. There are many "hot" issues we dance around due to wanting to both protect but also inform our children. However, in two election cycles your daughter will be voting. She needs to know what's at stake.
Putting our heads in the sand today and in the coming four years won't improve anything. Changing a profile photo to a black square is a statement of protest, but then it's time to act. Don't let too much time elapse between mourning a disappointment and acting to change the outcome next time.
I would have loved to see a woman-of-color president. I would have loved to see a white woman president. I'd love to see a gay or trans woman president. Why? Because if women and marginalized groups could win the popular (and electoral) vote, it would be a sign that the majority of people in this nation have evolved enough to look past labels and self-interests. It would be a sign that more people felt oneness rather than separation.
Clearly, the people of this nation has not yet evolved to that point. To me, that is the great crisis that needs to be addressed.
It is my firm belief that the future lies in hands of your daughter, my grandchildren, and the children coming into this world now. And what we teach and demonstrate today will play a huge role in determining a future where every person/being has value, no matter what, simply by virtue of existence.
And that change begins with us, not who is in the White House. When each individual takes responsibility for her own energy and the energy she projects into the collective, things will shift. How can we expect change before we model it?
Yes, I grieve the disappointment. Yes, I have deep concerns for the future of our children. I am doing what I can do. I support change by working on myself...by connecting with a spirit within that speaks truth. We are One. Believing there are two sides will only perpetuate the division.
I'm not trying to change anyone's mind about anything. I'm asking each person to ask themselves what they want to see in the world for themselves and the children—and then be it.
We cannot legislate change. Laws can be passed, and laws can be broken.
People can change. And that's the only way the world will change. Teach the children. Be an example of putting love, tolerance, acceptance, and respect into the collective. Energy is everything. What you put out manifests into form. That includes thoughts, words, and actions.
Let's be the change we want to see in the world. For the children and the evolution of humanity.