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I love feeling secure in who I am and who I've been.

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Oct 24, 2023·edited Oct 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

Not worrying about what people think or do, and therefore and not being sucked into drama (as easily).

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I love that I’ve finally relaxed into my natural oddball state. I never really fit anywhere, and I’m okay with it now.

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I like being GOOD at things. Things I struggled with in my teens and twenties (hitting the high notes in certain songs; threading my sewing machine; parallel parking) are EASY now and it's amazing.

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Oh I agree with all of the above, whole-heartedly! oddball state, not getting sucked in, secure in my self, being good at things, what a gift middle age is!

My addition: the absolute lack of f’s I have left to give to people or causes or ideas that aren’t my thing. (Corollary: the ability to say No. as a complete sentence.)

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Finally trusting myself and knowing the initial discomfort of saying no won’t kill me

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My favorite thing about being 61 is the ongoing discovery of who I am and how I came to be. I am (according to my therapist anyway) learning to recognize the old doubts and fears and go on anyway. That's the part I like, the going on any way.

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Oct 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

I like the acceptance of who I am and what Ian good at and not good at. Done trying to “do it all” and just enjoy what I enjoy!

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The acceptance of myself that comes with age, grief, and loss - and the ability to hold joy through it all.

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Oct 24, 2023·edited Oct 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

Since I will soon be 82, I am just happy that I am able to live alone and still be alive and doing things I enjoy.

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Oct 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

I love that I feel comfortable - in my body, in my thinking, in my self. I no longer have anxiety about "what if's" or "could, would, or should." I feel in much more of an ease/flow because I no longer want to change or fix myself. I actually like who I am now. I am my full weird self! :)

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Oct 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

47 here. I love how little I care now about things that used to bother me. Someone online doesn't like me? Please, I don't have time to get my panties in a twist about that. Someone unfollows me on social media? Peace be with ya, brother. I don't look gorgeous today? So what, there are so many more important things to be concerned about! My give-a-damn's busted and I ain't fixin it!

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I love feeling free to speak my mind. I will not stay silent to make things easier for people who don't deserve it. My stories are mine to tell.

Can I have two? I also love how easily and authentically I make friends with women my age. The story of my 50s is the story of my friendship with women.

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52er here. I'm still trying to figure the good parts out, but I do love that a secret world sort of opens up to you the older you get where being old is a distinct advantage. Yes, a young professional might be faster at picking up new tech or multi-tasking details, but they cannot bring to the table what I do - decades of work, people, and situational experience. Just being alive longer has exposed us to so many more people, places, experiences, challenges, and lesson. In my case, when you combine that with curiosity and a continuous desire to produce and give back, age is one of my greatest assets.

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This is an amazing time to be aging. Our mothers and grandmothers did not have the advantage of going through "THE CHANGE" with an army of women who refuse to be shushed. The camaraderie found in on-line forums, such as this substack, helps us to better understand what the hell is happening! Also it supports us by knowing we are not alone in this journey. I love that learning to be vulnerable, to say "hey, yeah, me too" is easier and exposes less under belly than it when I was younger. I feel like I'm better able to put my fists down and connect, embrace my inner weirdo and let her out.

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Oct 26, 2023Liked by Jessica Smock

Finally feeling okay being by myself if I'm out and about at an event. I was always intimidated by the popular kids in school, afraid to look like a loser if I didn't have anyone to talk to. Now I will happily walk past those people at parent events, fundraisers, etc. because I finally feel confident being on my own. If I see someone friendly, we'll strike up a conversation, but if not that's okay too. I'm done chasing people who aren't interested in talking with me.

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Menopause- absolutely menopause. I have an abusive husband who I am in the process of leaving (it's a long process) but, anyway, a few years ago, he told me, seriously, that he was "a lexicon of information about menopause." Turns out, as I knew all along, that he completely is not. Now that the sex drive has returned (although not for him,) the brain fog has lifted and the incredibly stinky, itchy and on-going thrush beneath my breasts as gone, I feel so much better. My experience was made so much worse by a) coinciding with the suicide of my son, b) my husband and c) not having a woman relative or friend who really wanted to discuss it but now that I am "on the other side" I am feeling so free....no more periods, no more worry about a late pregnancy....It's great. :) My younger son is flourishing; I have a good job, money and qualifications. I am building up the resources I need to leave the marriage and then thins will be even better.

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My favorite part is having fewer F's to give. I am more secure in myself, I'm better at boundaries, I let people have their feelings without it affecting mine.

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