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Holly Layman's avatar

Thank you so much, Jessica, for sharing this. It hasn't been quite two years yet since I lost both my parents just 13 days apart. My mom's passing was after a long illness, but my dad's was a shock. I can relate to so much of what you're saying. I kept a running list of things I wanted to tell my parents, too. (I was lucky to be close with them both.) I told my son (who was 17 at the time) that I never really felt like an adult until my parents died. But the quixotic flipside to that is it hit me so hard that I'm now an orphan. Like you, I felt like I'd lost my backup, my North Star. Please know you're not alone, and thanks again so much for sharing your story!

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Denise Schipani's avatar

Beautifully written, Jessica. I was just talking to my own mother about this; she is an only child and her parents were on the older side when she was born (37 and 43). Both died in their 80s, but my mom was still young both times; 39 and 50 when they passed. She's nearly 81 now and there are times, this is true, that she feels that untethered sense. And I pre-feel it! I am vastly fortunate to have, at 57, both my parents (my dad is nearing 87) and even though the world is tilting more toward me-helping-them, I still look to them for that center, holder-of-memories thing. I know I'm on borrowed time. I know I'll never be ready.

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